writing, and said (as I mentioned) to Mrs. Jervis, That girl is always
scribbling; methinks she might find something else to do, or to that
purpose. And when I had finished my letter, I put it under the toilet in
my late lady's dressing-room, whither nobody comes but myself and Mrs.
Jervis, besides my master; but when I came up again to seal it, to my
great concern, it was gone; and Mrs. Jervis knew nothing of it; and
nobody knew of my master's having been near the place in the time; so I
have been sadly troubled about it: But Mrs. Jervis, as well as I, thinks
he has it, some how or other; and he appears cross and angry, and seems
to shun me, as much as he said I did him. It had better be so than
worse!

But he has ordered Mrs. Jervis to bid me not pass so much time in
writing; which is a poor matter for such a gentleman as he to take notice
of, as I am not idle other ways, if he did not resent what he thought I
wrote upon. And this has no very good look.

But I am a good deal easier since I lie with Mrs. Jervis; though, after
all, the fears I live in on one side, and his frowning and displeasure at
what I do on the other, make me more miserable than enough.

O that I had never left my little bed in the loft, to be thus exposed to
temptations on one hand, or disgusts on the other! How happy was I
awhile ago! How contrary now!--Pity and pray for
Your afflicted PAMELA.



LETTER XIII