seek this girl quite as much as does my heart. I do not think a man
meets such a woman or such a chance for happiness twice in a lifetime.
I did not believe there was such a woman in the world. You may laugh
and say that is the way all lovers talk. I answer emphatically, No. I
have not yet lost my poise, and I never was a predestined lover. I
might easily have gone through life and never given to these subjects
an hour's thought. Even now I could quietly decide to go away and take
up my old life as I left it. But why should I? Here is an opportunity
to enrich existence immeasurably, and to add to all my chances of
success and power. So far from being a drag upon one, a woman like
Miss St. John would incite and inspire a man to his best efforts. She
would sympathize with him because she could understand his aims and
keep pace with his mental advance. Granted that my prospects of
winning her are doubtful indeed, still as far as I can see there
_is_ a chance. I would not care a straw for a woman that I could
have for the asking--who would take me as a _dernier ressort_.
Any woman that I would marry, many others would gladly marry also, and
I must take my chance of winning her from them. Such would be my lot
under any circumstances, and if I give way to a faint heart now I may
as well give up altogether and content myself with a library as a
bride."

Since he felt that he might have taken Hilland into his confidence, he
had, in terms substantially the same as those given, imagined his
explanation, and he smiled as he portrayed to himself his friend's
jocular response, which would have nevertheless its substratum of true
sympathy. "Hilland would say," he thought, "'That is just like you,
Graham. You can't smoke a cigar or make love to a girl without
analyzing and philosophizing and arranging all the wisdom of Solomon
in favor of your course. Now I would make love to a girl because I