his cigar. "I took an order from a man in Indiana, not long ago, for
felt wads, Nos. 8 and 9, and for some cardboard. When I went to copy
my orders I remembered that the man had given no size for the
cardboard wanted, but I was pretty sure he wanted 12's, and wrote that
size. As it happened the house was out of No. 9 felt and let it go, as
he only wanted one-third of a dozen. What did the fellow do but send
back the card-board wads, saying he had ordered 9's, and giving us
Hail Columbia for sending 12's instead, as well as a long epistle
about knowing his own business, and not wanting our help in running
it. The card-board wads were worth about 33 cents, and the express
charges on them back were 25 cents. I tell you the world is full of
smart Alecks."

"I presume I have seen more about returned goods than you have," I
said, "as I have been in the store so long, and see every package that
comes in. I do get my back up over some of the stupid things the
average retailer will do. It never seems to enter his head to drop the
house a card and await their instructions about the goods that are
unsatisfactory, but he fancies he is showing how smart he is by
whacking them back at once, and always by express, no matter how heavy
the goods are. A neighbor of mine, a hardware man, told me an instance
of the smart Aleck a few days ago. The house was handling a new
tubular lantern and selling it under the market price of regular
goods. The traveling man sent in three orders from a Michigan town,
each of them for one-half dozen lanterns. The stock clerk had a single
half dozen of the new lantern and found a half-dozen case of the
genuine. He filled two orders and put the other half-dozen on the
back-order book. The genuine was billed at the cut price and nothing
said on the bill. In a day or two back that case came by express, and
an indignant letter from the customer for palming off on him the old