Narrative and Miscellaneous Papers — Volume 1 by Thomas De Quincey
page 43 of 234 (18%)
page 43 of 234 (18%)
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afresh amongst the other crowd of realities, and has at the moment of
restoration literally the force and liveliness of a new birth--the very same pang, and no whit feebler, as that which belonged to it when it was first made known. From the total hush of oblivion which had buried it and sealed it up, as it were, during the sleeping hours, it starts into sudden life on our first awaking, and is to all intents and purposes a new and not an old affliction--one which brings with it the old original shock which attended its first annunciation. That night--that first night of separation from my wife--_how_ it passed, I know not; I know only _that_ it passed, I being in our common bed-chamber, that holiest of all temples that are consecrated to human attachments, whenever the heart is pure of man and woman, and the love is strong--I being in that bedchamber, once the temple now the sepulchre of our happiness,--I there, and my wife--my innocent wife--in a dungeon. As the morning light began to break, somebody knocked at the door; it was Hannah: she took my hand--misery levels all feeble distinctions of station, sex, age--she noticed my excessive feverishness, and gravely remonstrated with me upon the necessity there was that I should maintain as much health as possible for the sake of 'others,' if not for myself. She then brought me some tea, which refreshed me greatly; for I had tasted nothing at all beyond a little water since the preceding morning's breakfast. This refreshment seemed to relax and thaw the stiff frozen state of cheerless, rayless despair in which I had passed the night; I became susceptible of consolation-- that consolation which lies involved in kindness and gentleness of manner--if not susceptible more than before of any positive hope. I sat down; and, having no witnesses to my weakness but this kind and faithful woman, I wept, and I found a relief in tears; and she, with the ready sympathy of woman, wept along with me. All at once she |
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