Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor by Unknown
page 65 of 161 (40%)
page 65 of 161 (40%)
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submerged the bottle in a basin of water and let a few drops in on
the heated inmates to cool them off. At the tea table he had a great fright. Miss Middlerib, in the artless simplicity of her romantic nature, said: "I smell bees. How the odor brings up---" But her father glared at her and said, with superfluous harshness and execrable grammar: "Hush up! You don't smell nothing." Whereupon Mrs. Middlerib asked him if he had eaten anything that disagreed with him, and Miss Middlerib said: "Why, pa!" and Master Middlerib smiled as he wondered. Bedtime at last, and the night was warm and sultry. Under various false pretenses, Mr. Middlerib strolled about the house until everybody else was in bed, and then he sought his room. He turned the lamp down until its feeble ray shone dimly as a death-light. Mr. Middlerib disrobed slowly--very slowly. When at last he was ready to go lumbering into his peaceful couch, he heaved a profound sigh, so full of apprehension and grief that Mrs. Middlerib, who was awakened by it, said if it gave him so much pain to come to bed perhaps he had better sit up all night. Mr. Middlerib choked another sigh, but said nothing and crept into bed. After lying still a few moments he reached out and got his bottle of bees. It was not an easy thing to do to pick one bee out of the bottle with |
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