regaled with the heartaches of past affairs; they are only interested
in those which appear to be in the process of active development or
retrogression. Suffice to say, I was terribly cut up over the way my
first serious affair of the heart turned out, and tried my best to
hate myself for letting it worry me. Somehow I was able to attribute
the fiasco to an inborn sense of shyness that has always made me
faint-hearted, dilatory and unaggressive. No doubt if I had gone about
it roughshod and fiery I could have played hob with the excellent
jeweller's peace of mind, to say the least, but alas! I succeeded only
in approaching at a time when there was nothing left for me to do but
to start him off in life with a mild handicap in the shape of a
dining-room set that would not go with anything else he had in the
apartment.

Still, some men, no matter how shy and procrastinating they may be--or
reluctant, for that matter--are doomed to have love affairs thrust
upon them, as you will perceive if you follow the course of this
narrative to the bitter end.

In order that you may know me when you see me struggling through these
pages, as one might struggle through a morass on a dark night, I shall
take the liberty of describing myself in the best light possible under
the circumstances.

I am a tallish sort of person, moderately homely, and not quite
thirty-five. I am strong but not athletic. Whatever physical development
I possess was acquired through the ancient and honourable game of golf
and in swimming. In both of these sports I am quite proficient. My
nose is rather long and inquisitive, and my chin is considered to be
singularly firm for one who has no ambition to become a hero. My thatch