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Works of Lucian of Samosata — Volume 01 by Lucian of Samosata
page 63 of 366 (17%)
servant.] they favour us with a glance, and that must be happiness
enough. By the more ambitious spirits, an obeisance is expected; this
is not performed at a distance, after the Persian fashion--you go
right up, and make a profound bow, testifying with the angle of your
body to the self-abasement of your soul; you then kiss his hand or
breast--and happy and enviable is he who may do so much! And there
stands the great man, protracting the illusion as long as may be. (I
heartily acquiesce, by the way, in the churlish sentence which
excludes us from a nearer acquaintance with their _lips_.)

'But if these men are amusing, their courtiers and flatterers are
doubly so. They rise in the small hours of the night, to go their
round of the city, to have doors slammed in their faces by slaves, to
swallow as best they may the compliments of "Dog," "Toadeater," and
the like. And the guerdon of their painful circumambulations? A
vulgarly magnificent dinner, the source of many woes! They eat too
much, they drink more than they want, they talk more than they should;
and then they go away, angry and disappointed, grumbling at their
fare, and protesting against the scant courtesy shown them by their
insolent patron. You may see them vomiting in every alley, squabbling
at every brothel. The daylight most of them spend in bed, furnishing
employment for the doctors. Most of them, I say; for with some it has
come to this, that they actually have no time to be ill. My own
opinion is that, of the two parties, the toadies are more to blame,
and have only themselves to thank for their patron's insolence. What
can they expect him to think, after their commendations of his wealth,
their panegyrics on money, their early attendance at his doors, their
servile salutations? If by common consent they would abstain, were it
only for a few days, from this voluntary servitude, the tables must
surely be turned, and the rich come to the doors of the paupers,
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