A chapman for goodness and cheapness of ware,
Held a fair dealer enough at a fair,
But deemed a piratical sort of invader
By him we dub the "regular trader,"
Who--luring the passengers in as they pass
By lamps, gay panels, and mouldings of brass,
And windows with only one huge pane of glass,
And his name in gilt characters, German or Roman -
If he isn't a Pedlar, at least he's a Showman!

However, in the stranger came,
And, the moment he met the eyes of the Dame,
Threw her as knowing a nod as though
He had known her fifty long years ago:
And presto! before she could utter "Jack" -
Much less "Robinson"--opened his pack -
And then from amongst his portable gear,
With even more than a Pedlar's tact, -
(Slick himself might have envied the act) -
Before she had time to be deaf, in fact -
Popped a Trumpet into her ear.
"There, Ma'am! try it!
You needn't buy it -
The last New Patent, and nothing comes nigh it
For affording the deaf, at a little expense,
The sense of hearing, and hearing of sense!
A Real Blessing--and no mistake,
Invented for poor Humanity's sake:
For what can be a greater privation
Than playing Dumby to all creation,