reads_.)

MAGGIE (_sitting in arm-chair_, R. C.). Do you call this
English?

ALBERT (_standing_ L. _of her_). Legal English, Miss
Hobson.

MAGGIE. I thought it weren't the sort we talk in Lancashire. What
is it when you've got behind the whereases and the saids and to
wits?

ALBERT. It's what you told Freddy to instruct me. Action against
Henry Horatio Hobson for trespass on the premises of Jonathan
Beenstock & Co., Corn Merchants, of Chapel Street, Salford, with
damages to certain corn bags caused by falling on them and
further damages claimed for spying on the trade secrets of the
aforesaid J. B. & Co.

MAGGIE. Well, I'll take your word that this means that--I
shouldn't have thought it, but I suppose lawyers are like
doctors. They've each a secret language, of their own so that if
you get a letter from one lawyer you've to take it to another to
get it read, just like a doctor sends you to a chemist with a
rigmarole that no one else can read, so they can charge you what
they like for a drop of coloured water.

ALBERT. I've made this out to your instructions, Miss Hobson, but
I'm far from saying it's good law, and I'd not be keen on going
into court with it.