ruin and disaster, and outrageous fortune overwhelms a man of my
importance to the world, it isn't only the _Salford
Reporter_ that takes note of it. This awful cross that's come
to me will be recorded in the _Manchester Guardian_ for the
whole of Lancashire to read.

WILLIE. Eh, by gum, think of that! To have your name appearing in
the _Guardian_! Why, it's very near worth while to be ruined
for the pleasure of reading about yourself in a printed paper.

HOBSON (_sits sofa_). It's there for others to read besides
me, my lad.

WILLIE. Aye, you're right. I didn't think of that. This 'ull give
a lot of satisfaction to a many I could name. Other people's
troubles is mostly what folks read the paper for, and I reckon
it's twice the pleasure to them when it's trouble of a man they
know themselves. (_He is perfectly simple and has no malicious
intention_.)

HOBSON. To hear you talk it sounds like a pleasure to you.

WILLIE (_sincerely_). Nay, it's not. You've ate my wedding
cake and you've shook my hand. We're friends, I hope, and I were
nobbut meditating like a friend. I always think it's best to look
on the worst side of things first, then whatever chances can't be
worse than you looked for. There's St. Philip's now. I don't
suppose you'll go on being vicar's warden after this to do, and
it brought you a powerful lot of customers from the church, did
that.