And a poor Beast, you know, can scarce carry double.
'Twas invented, they tell you, to keep us from falling;
Oh the Virtues and Graces of shrill Caterwauling!
How it palls in your Gain; but, pray, how do you know, Sir,
How often your Neighbour breaks in your Enclosure?
For this is the principal Comforts of Marriage,
You must eat tho' a hundred have spit in your Porridg.
If at night you're inactive, or fail in performing,
Enter Thunder and Lightning, and Blood-shed, next Morning;
Lust's the Bone of your Shanks, O dear Mr. Horner:
This comes of your sinning with Crape in a Corner.
Then to make up the Breach all your Strength you must rally,
And labour and sweat like a Slave in a Gaily;
And still you must charge--O blessed Condition!--
Tho' you know, to your cost, you've no more Ammunition:
Till at last the poor fool of a mortified man
Is unable to make a poor Flash in the Pan.
Fire, Flood, and Female, begin with a letter,
But for all the World's not a Farthing the better.
Your Flood is soon gone, and your Fire you must humble,
If into Flames store of Water you tumble;
But to cure the damn'd Lust of your Wife's Titilation,
You may use all the Engines and Pumps in the Nation,
As well you may p---- out the last Conflagration.
And thus I have sent you my Thoughts of the matter;
You may judge as you please; I scorn for to flatter:
I could say much more, but here ends the Chapter.