It is a thick, dark fog again this morning. At Blackdeep most
likely it is bright sunlight.

Charles does not seem to suspect that his indifference has any
effect on me. I suppose he is unable to conceive my world or any
world but his own. If he were at Blackdeep now and the sun were
shining, would it be to him a glowing, blessed ball of fire?

He may have just as much right to complain of me as I have to
complain of him. He sets store on the qualities necessary for his
business, and he knows what store the partners set on those
qualities in him. No doubt they are of great importance to
everybody. It must be hard for him to live with a woman who takes
so little interest in city affairs and makes so much of what to him
is of no importance. He looks down upon me as though I were not
able to talk on any subject which, for its comprehension, requires
intelligence. If he had married Miss Stagg, who has doubled the
drapery business at Ely, they might have agreed together very well.

This is true, but I come back to myself. The virtues are not enough
for me. Life with them alone is not worth the trouble of getting up
in the morning. I thirst for you: I shall come, whatever may
happen.


BLACKDEEP, 20th February 1839.

I cannot write an answer to your letter. You must come. I could
not make up my mind last night, but this morning the light, the
direction, as my mother used to say, was like a star. How you