we returned. I fancied my liver was out of order and consulted a
physician. He gave me some medicine and urged me to 'cultivate
cheerful society,' and to take more exercise. I therefore tried
long walks, and often extended them beyond Croydon, and once as far
as Reigate, but I had never been accustomed to walking by myself,
and as I knew the names of scarcely half-a-dozen birds or trees, my
excursions gave me no pleasure. I have stood on Banstead Downs in
the blaze of sunlight on a still October morning, and when I saw the
smoke-cloud black as night hang over the horizon northwards, I have
longed with the yearning of an imprisoned convict to be the meanest
of the blessed souls enveloped in it.

I determined at last to break up my household at Stockwell, to move
far away into the country; to breed fowls--an occupation which I was
assured was very profitable and very entertaining; dismiss my niece
and marry again. I began to consider which lady of those whom I
knew would suit me best, and I found one who was exactly the person
I wanted. She was about thirty-five years old, was cheerful, fond
of going out (I never was), a good housekeeper, played the piano
fairly well, and, as the daughter of a retired major in the Army,
had a certain air and manner which distinguished her from the wives
and daughters of our set and would secure for me an acquaintance
with the country gentlefolk, from which, without her, I should
probably be debarred. She had also told me when I mentioned my
project to her, but saying nothing about marriage, that she doted on
fowls--they had such pretty ways. As it was obviously prudent not
to engage myself until I knew more of her, I instigated my niece in
a careless way to invite her to stay a fortnight with us. She came,
and once or twice I was on the verge of saying something decisive to
her, but I could not. A strange terror of change in my way of life