read the history of the heroes who turned the world upside down in
former ages. As for courage, I had, as I have since discovered, just
as much of it as serve'd my turn, and not one frain of surplus. I
soon found out, indeed, that in action there was more anger in
running away than in standing fast; and besides, I could not afford
to lose my commission, which was my chief means of support. But, as
for that overboiling valour, which I have heard many of _ours_
talk of, though I seldom observed that it influenced them in the
actual affair---that exuberant zeal, which courts Danger as a
bride,--truly my courage was of a complexion much less ecstatical.

Again, the love of a red coat, which, in default of all other
aptitudes to the profession, has made many a bad soldier and some good
ones, was an utter stranger to my disposition. I cared not a "bodle"
for the company of the misses: Nay, though there was a boarding-school
in the village, and though we used to meet with its fair inmates at
Simon Lightfoot's weekly Practising, I cannot recollect any strong
emotions being excited on these occasions, excepting the infinite
regret with which I went through the polite ceremonial of presenting
my partner with an orange, thrust into my pocket by my aunt for this
special purpose, but which, had I dared, I certainly would have
secreted for my own personal use. As for vanity, or love of finery for
itself, I was such a stranger to it, that the difficulty was great to
make me brush my coat, and appear in proper trim upon parade. I shall
never forget the rebuke of my old Colonel on a morning when the King
reviewed a brigade of which ours made part. "I am no friend to
extravagance, Ensign Clutterbuck," said he; "but, on the day when we
are to pass before the Sovereign of the kingdom, in the name of God I
would have at least shown him an inch of clean linen."