"Well," added Mr. Oldbuck, "if the scoundrel--"

"Scoundrel, Mr. Oldbuck," said the Preses, "is a most unseemly
expression, and I must call you to order. Mr. Dousterswivel is
only an eccentric genius."

"Pretty much the same in the Greek," muttered Mr. Oldbuck; and
then said aloud, "and if this eccentric genius has work enough in
singeing the Dutchman's linen, what the devil has he to do here?"

"Why, he is of opinion, that at the expense of a little mechanism,
some part of the labour of composing these novels might be saved
by the use of steam." There was a murmur of disapprobation at this
proposal, and the words, "Blown up," and "Bread taken out of our
mouths," and "They might as well construct a steam parson," were
whispered. And it was not without repeated calls to order, that
the Preses obtained an opportunity of resuming his address.

"Order!--Order! Pray, support the chair. Hear, hear, hear the
chair!"

"Gentlemen, it is to be premised, that this mechanical operation
can only apply to those parts of the narrative which are at
present composed out of commonplaces, such as the love-speeches of
the hero, the description of the heroine's person, the moral
observations of all sorts, and the distribution of happiness at
the conclusion of the piece. Mr. Dousterswivel has sent me some
drawings, which go far to show, that by placing the words and
phrases technically employed on these subjects, in a sort of