that for the present I neither had it, nor yet for the time to
come, were ever like to have it. Thus I was tossed betwixt the
devil and my own ignorance, and so perplexed, especially at some
times, that I could not tell what to do.

53. About this time, the state and happiness of these poor people
at Bedford was thus, in a kind of a vision, presented to me, I saw
as if they were on the sunny side of some high mountain, there
refreshing themselves with the pleasant beams of the sun, while I
was shivering and shrinking in the cold, afflicted with frost, snow
and dark clouds: methought also, betwixt me and them, I saw a wall
that did compass about this mountain, now through this wall my soul
did greatly desire to pass; concluding, that if I could, I would
even go into the very midst of them, and there also comfort myself
with the heat of their sun.

54. About this wall I bethought myself, to go again and again,
still prying as I went, to see if I could find some way or passage,
by which I might enter therein: but none could I find for some
time: at the last, I saw, as it were, a narrow gap, like a little
door-way in the wall, through which I attempted to pass: Now the
passage being very strait and narrow, I made many offers to get in,
but all in vain, even until I was well-nigh quite beat out, by
striving to get in; at last, with great striving, methought I at
first did get in my head, and after that, by a sideling striving,
my shoulders, and my whole body; then I was exceeding glad, went
and sat down in the midst of them, and so was comforted with the
light and heat of their sun.

55. Now this mountain, and wall, etc., was thus made out to me: