thither, I might be rather a tormentor, than be tormented myself.

8. A while after those terrible dreams did leave me, which also I
soon forgot; for my pleasures did quickly cut off the remembrance
of them, as if they had never been: wherefore with more
greediness, according to the strength of nature, I did still let
loose the reins of my lust, and delighted in all transgressions
against the law of God: so that until I came to the state of
marriage, I was the very ringleader of all the youth that kept me
company, in all manner of vice and ungodliness.

9. Yea, such prevalency had the lusts and fruits of the flesh in
this poor soul of mine, that had not a miracle of precious grace
prevented, I had not only perished by the stroke of eternal
justice, but had also laid myself open, even to the stroke of those
laws which bring some to disgrace and open shame before the face of
the world.

10. In these days the thoughts of religion were very grievous to
me; I could neither endure it myself, nor that any other should; so
that when I have seen some read in those books that concerned
Christian piety, it would be as it were a prison to me. Then I
said unto God, Depart from me, for I desire not the knowledge of
Thy ways. Job xxi. 14, 15. I was now void of all good
consideration, heaven and hell were both out of sight and mind; and
as for saving and damning, they were least in my thoughts. O Lord,
Thou knowest my life, and my ways were not hid from Thee!

11. But this I well remember, that though I could myself sin with
the greatest delight and ease, and also take pleasure in the