me to go, Father found himself too poor, or the expense looked
too big--none of the other boys had had such privileges, and why
should I? So I swallowed my disappointment and attended the home
district school for another winter. Yet I am not sure but I went
to Harpersfield after all. The desire, the yearning to go, the
effort to make myself worthy to go, the mental awakening, and the
high dreams, were the main matter. I doubt if the reality would
have given me anything more valuable than these things. The
aspiration for knowledge opens the doors of the mind and makes
ready for her coming.

These were my first and last days at the plough, and they made
that field memorable to me. I never cross it now but I see myself
there--a callow youth being jerked by the plough-handles but with my
head in a cloud of alluring day-dreams. This, I think, was in the
fall of 1853. I went to school that winter with a view to leaving
home in the spring to try my luck at school-teaching in an adjoining
county. Many Roxbury boys had made their first start in the world
by going to Ulster County to teach a country school. I would do the
same. So, late in March, 1854, about the end of the sugar season, I
set out for Olive, Ulster County. An old neighbor, Dr. Hull, lived
there, and I would seek him.

There was only a stage-line at that time connecting the two counties,
and that passed twelve miles from my home. My plan was to cross the
mountain into Red Kill to Uncle Martin Kelly's, pass the night there,
and in the morning go to Clovesville, three miles distant, and take
the stage. How well I remember that walk across the mountain in
a snow-squall through which the sun shone dimly, a black oilcloth
satchel in my hand, and in my heart vague yearnings and forebodings!