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Men Women and God by Arthur Herbert Gray
page 82 of 151 (54%)
and great ways the instinct may be turned to splendid uses other than
the usual ones of marriage and motherhood. But the instinct is there,
and if wisdom means understanding ourselves and handling ourselves
bravely, then it _must_ be reckoned with. To quarrel with the nature of
things is mere folly.

Another special feature of the period in a girl's life I am thinking of
is a tendency to intense and passionate affections for other women--a
tendency to idealize some other woman till she seems the center of life
and adorable beyond words. A very real danger lurks here, and yet I
would like to speak with great care about the matter, because a true
friendship is always one of the finest and most enriching things in
life, while a _grande passion_ for another member of one's own sex is a
different thing with an undesirable element in it.

In girls about thirteen or thereabouts _grandes passions_ for other
girls or for school-mistresses are very common, and so far from being
harmful they may serve a very useful purpose. They generally pass
away pretty quickly, and unless the older woman has been unwise they
leave no bad effects behind them.

But among older girls they are a very different thing and often lead to
serious trouble and unhappiness. What has happened in such cases is
that an instinct which is designed to produce love for one of the
opposite sex has been perverted to add an element of passion to what
should have been merely a healthy friendship for another woman. And the
result is an unhealthy type of relationship. It is unhealthy because,
to begin with, in this way girls let themselves go and allow their
emotions to run away with them; and that just at a time when it is
most important that they should have themselves in firm control. And
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