that is at all worthy of the name will not another from a path that
might lead to marriage has misunderstood the very meaning of love.
Women have repeatedly told me that the passionate relationships I am
speaking of lead to grave unhappiness. They almost never last, and the
one who breaks away may cause acute suffering to the other; while an
attempt to continue them after the life has gone out of them results in
a very poor and pitiful relationship. And yet all this leaves still
open the question of how they are to be dealt with in actual life. One
thing worth saying is--Be warned in time, and do not let them grow.
When they threaten they can be turned into true friendships by girls
who understand, and true friendship is always a bracing and
strengthening thing. But I would not for a moment suggest that a "G.
P." should be ruthlessly broken. That would often be a cruel thing to
do which might cause great and even permanent damage to a sensitive
nature. But if both who are involved in the matter will face the truth
about it, they may succeed in passing on into a natural and healthy
friendship which may be invaluable to both and a gain to society. If it
be asked wherein lies the essential difference between a G. P. and a
friendship I think answer has been given in the words: "Friendship is
an other-regarding emotion and proves itself to be an uplifting force,
while a G. P. is self-regarding, and consequently generally is socially
exclusive and therefore harmful." A G. P. generally involves a desire
to have somebody else all to yourself. That is the sign of the
unnatural sex element in it. But a friendship leads to happy co-
operation between two people in the work and recreation of the world.
One of the tests of universal application in this realm of life lies in
the fact that real love always wants to give, and that the attitude of
wanting greedily to get is not true love. Many and many an unhappy girl
who frets and torments herself because she does not get all she wants
from some other woman would find the world and life transformed if she