persons used their words as if they expected words from you, for
which they would be grateful. They did not monopolize conversation,
neither did they frequently interrupt; but when they had a suggestion
to offer, opportunity being afforded, they spoke honestly, though
politely, their good sound thoughts,--ideas which frequently destroyed
the evil of gossip or impatiently uttered remarks.

Conversation does not depend upon rapidity of speech, as certain
impulsive persons seem to think. I acknowledge that much of the
interruption in conversation, and much of the monopoly, and a large
number of the quick, almost angry words, result from eagerness rather
than conceit or selfishness. If one cannot be animated without rapid
speech, let him talk fast. It is a bad practice, however, even in the
ablest talkers.

One can have opinions, and yet not use them to knock down one's
opponents who have had no chance to arm against one. Do not be
ungenerous, girls, selfish, in talking. Allow that some one else may
have ideas as good as yours. George Eliot says, in "Daniel Deronda,"
"I cannot bear people to keep their minds bottled up for the sake of
letting them off with a pop." That is not conversation: it is a selfish
display of a few treasured maxims or witticisms or opinions.

If courtesy, deference, patience, and generosity are needed to talk
well, then certainly sympathy is necessary. A woman who has no
comfortable word for her sister woman had better talk to the wall.
But I need not reproach girls for lack of sympathy, nor for lack of
interest in the girls they meet. Their confidence in new friends is
so absolute; their desire to receive sympathy, as well as to give it,
is so great, that they frequently impart their whole lists of secrets