taken off my fat; the stones have massaged my feet; the mud-baths
have cured me of my rheumatism; the plain food has cured my liver,
and the pine-trees my lungs; and, could you believe it, the brown
spring-water contained iron, just what I wanted!"

"Well, you old philosopher," said the partner, "don't you understand
that from the negative you get a positive, where all the shade
becomes light again? If you would only take such a positive picture
of me and try and find out what faults I do _not_ possess, you would
not dislike me so much. Only think: I don't drink, and therefore
I am able to manage the business; I don't steal; I never talk evil of
you behind your back; I never complain; I never make white appear
black; I am never rude to the customers; I rise early in the morning;
I clean my nails so as to keep the developer clean; I leave my
hat on so that no hairs shall fall on the plates; I smoke so as to
purify the air of poisonous gases; I keep the door ajar so as not
to make a noise in the studio; I drink beer in the evening so as
to escape the temptation of drinking whisky; and I put the knife
into my mouth because I am afraid of pricking myself with the fork."

"You really are a great philosopher," said the photographer,
"henceforth we will be friends! Then we shall get on in life!"



HALF A SHEET OF FOOLSCAP

The last furniture van had left; the tenant, a young man with
a crape band round his hat, walked for the last time through the
empty rooms to make sure that nothing had been left behind. No,