Seven Who Were Hanged by Leonid Nikolayevich Andreyev
page 90 of 122 (73%)
page 90 of 122 (73%)
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came into his mind: Did the blunder perhaps consist in his playing
chess simply because he wanted to distract his attention from the execution and thus shield himself against the fear of death which is apparently inevitable in every person condemned to death? "No. What for?" he answered coldly and closed calmly his imaginary chessboard. And with the same concentration with which he had played chess, he tried to give himself an account of the horror and the helplessness of his situation. As though he were going through a strict examination, he looked over the cell, trying not to let anything escape. He counted the hours that remained until the execution, made for himself an approximate and quite exact picture of the execution itself and shrugged his shoulders. "Well?" he said to some one half-questioningly. "Here it is. Where is the fear?" Indeed there was no fear. Not only was it not there, but something entirely different, the reverse of fear, developed-a sensation of confused, but enormous and savage joy. And the error, which he had not yet discovered, no longer called forth in him vexation or irritation,-it seemed to speak loudly of something good and unexpected, as though he had believed a dear friend of his to be dead, and that friend turned out to be alive, safe and sound and laughing. Werner again shrugged his shoulders and felt his pulse,-his heart was beating faster than usual, but soundly and evenly, with a specially ringing throb. He looked about once more, attentively, like a novice for the first time in prison,-examined the walls, the bolts, the chair which was screwed to the floor, and thought: |
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