garden or field. Being of a very bashful and retiring disposition she
felt alone even in company. Her diary leaves give evidence of this.
Under date of June 19,1852, for example, she writes:

"How lonely I feel to-day! and my rebellious heart will repeat the
question, Why was I created thus? I stand alone, and why? I know it is
my own self that makes me so; but how can I make myself otherwise? I
have tried very, _very_ hard to overcome my--what shall I call it?
bashfulness? It seems as though it could not be wholly that. I
have seen those the world called _bashful_, but they were not at
all like myself. Oh, no; I am wretched at times on account of this
----. When I see myself all alone--different from those around me--I
cannot stay the burning tear though I would gladly repress it. I
cannot soothe the anguish that fills my heart, and yet I feel that
this is wrong,--that it ought not to be thus. Why should I feel so
keenly that I am _alone_? that I am strange? Earthly scenes will soon
be over, and if I am only a Christian I shall never feel alone in
heaven. Oh, glorious thought! there will be no strange being there. O
God, prepare me for that blissful world and I will no longer complain
of my loneliness on earth--no longer sigh that I am not like others."

At this time Miss JOHNSON was not a professed Christian. Her parents
had endeavored to bring her up in the fear of the Lord and a belief of
the gospel, and to attend the services of the sanctuary. Her life had
been one of strict morality. She believed in God but had not taken
Christ as _her own personal Saviour_ and confessed him before men
as she felt she should. Her conviction of sin however was deep and
pungent. On another day in the same month, she says:--

"O Earth, thou art a lovely place, and some of thy inhabitants are as