One Polybius, an uneducated man whose grammar was very defective,
once informed him that he had received Roman citizenship from the
Emperor. 'Why did he not make you a Greek instead?' asked Demonax.

Seeing a decorated person very proud of his broad stripe, he
whispered in his ear, while he took hold of and drew attention to
the cloth, 'This attire did not make its original wearer anything
but a sheep.'

Once at the bath the water was at boiling point, and some one
called him a coward for hesitating to get in. 'What,' said he, 'is
my country expecting me to do my duty?'

Some one asked him what he took the next world to be like. 'Wait a
bit, and I will send you the information.'

A minor poet called Admetus told him he had inserted a clause in
his will for the inscribing on his tomb of a monostich, which I
will give:

Admetus' husk earth holds, and Heaven himself.

'What a beautiful epitaph, Admetus!' said Demonax, 'and what a pity
it is not up yet!'

The shrunk shanks of old age are a commonplace; but when his
reached this state, some one asked him what was the matter with
them. 'Ah,' he said with a smile, 'Charon has been having a bite at
them.'