than for life and health. Day and night the longing never left her;
but, not having been confirmed, she did not like to ask for it, and as
she recovered the old feeling gradually returned.

Religious difficulties always tormented her more or less. As she grew
older she felt with Shelley that belief is involuntary, and a man is
neither to be praised nor blamed for it; and she was always ready to
acknowledge with Sir Philip Sidney that "Reason cannot show itself more
reasonable than to leave reasoning on things above reason," but
nevertheless her mind did not rest.

I have also heard her quote, "Credulity is the man's weakness, but the
child's strength," and add that in matters of faith and religion we are
all children, and I have thought at times that she had been able to
leave it so; but something always fell from her sooner or later which
showed that the old trouble was rankling still--as when she told me
once: "I have never heard the Divine voice which has called you and all
my friends. I listen for it, but it does not speak. I call, but there
is no reply. I wait, but it does not come. The heaven of heavens is
dark to me, and the yearning of my soul meets no response. Will it be
so for ever?"

No, not for ever--but she was led by tortuous ways, and left to work
out her own salvation in very fear and trembling, till the dear human
love was given to her in pity to help her to know something of that
which is Divine. And then, I hope, above the trouble of her senses, and
the turmoil of the world, the Divine voice did call her, and she was
able at last to hear.