This served, at least, to enlarge his auditor's ideas as to the
average American father's vast and profound ignorance of the life,
habits, manners and customs of that common but variable species, the
Offspring. Beyond this it had little value. Average Jones gave its
author a few specific instructions as to minor lines of home
investigation, and retired to map out a tentative campaign.

His first call, on arriving at Toledo, was at the business office of
the Daily Saw, in which he inserted the following paragraph on a
repeat-until-stopped order:

WANTED--Instructor in Spanish. One with recent
Experience preferred. Apply between 9 and 10
A.M. Doctor Hoff, 360 Fairfield Avenue.

Thence he climbed the stairs to the den of the city editor, to whom
he stated his errand openly, being too wise in his day and
generation to attempt concealment or evasion with a newspaper man
from whom he wanted information. The city editor obligingly
furnished further details regarding "Rickey" Hoff, as he called the
young man, which, while differing in important respects from Doctor
Hoff's, bore the ear-marks of superior accuracy.

"The worst of it is," said the newspaper man, "that there are
elements of decency about the young cub, if he'd keep sober. He
won't go into the old boy's business, because he hates it. Says
it's all rot and lies. He's dead right, of course. But there's
nothing else for him to do, so he just fights booze. Better make a
few inquiries at Silent Charley's."