earliest infancy brought up to cruelty, and he cannot feel that it is
wrong. Now, my position was worse. I had never seen the softer
feelings of our nature called into play; I knew nothing but tyranny
and oppression, hatred and vengeance. It was therefore not surprising
that, when my turn came, I did to others as I had been done by.
Jackson had no excuse for his treatment of me, whereas, I had every
excuse for retaliation. He did know better, I did not. I followed the
ways of the world in the petty microcosm in which I had been placed.
I knew not of mercy, of forgiveness, charity, or goodwill. I knew not
that there was a God; I only knew that might was right, and the most
pleasurable sensation which I felt, was that of anxiety for
vengeance, combined with the consciousness of power.

After I had bathed, I again examined the chest and its contents. I
looked at the books without touching them. "I must know what these
mean," thought I, "and I will know." My thirst for knowledge was
certainly most remarkable, in a boy of my age; I presume for the
simple reason, that we want most what we cannot obtain; and Jackson
having invariably refused to enlighten me on any subject, I became
most anxious and impatient to satisfy the longing which increased
with my growth.




Chapter V


For three days did Jackson lie on his bed; I supplied him with
water, but he did not eat anything. He groaned heavily at times, and