ALICE. 'You here, Cosmo!'

She starts back from her assailant.

COLONEL, feeling a little foolish, 'I didn't hear you come in.'

COSMO, grimly, 'No, I'm sure you didn't.'

COLONEL, testily, 'No heroics, my boy.'

COSMO. 'Take care, father.' He stands between them, which makes his
father suddenly grin. 'Laugh on, sir. I don't know what this row's
about, but'--here his arm encircles an undeserving lady--'this lady is
my mother, and I won't have her bullied. What's a father compared to a
mother.'

ALICE. 'Cosmo, darling Cosmo.'

COLONEL, becoming alarmed, 'My boy, it was only a jest. Alice, tell
him it was only a jest.'

ALICE. 'He says it was only a jest, Cosmo.'

COSMO. 'You are a trump to shield him, mother.' He kisses her openly,
conscious that he is a bit of a trump himself, in which view Alice
most obviously concurs.

COLONEL, to his better half, 'You serpent.'