wife....And it wasn't her fault that she wasn't."

"What did she do?"

"Do! What didn't she do? Next day she went down to our place when I
was at work, and hugged and kissed mother and the girls all round, and
cried, and told mother that she'd try and be a dutiful daughter to
her. Good Lord! You should have seen the old woman and the girls when
I came home.

"Then she let everyone know that Bridget Page was engaged to Jack
Mitchell, and told her friends that she went down on her knees every
night and thanked the Lord for getting the love of a good man. Didn't
the fellows chyack me, though! My sisters were raving mad about it,
for their chums kept asking them how they liked their new sister, and
when it was going to come off, and who'd be bridesmaids and best man,
and whether they weren't surprised at their brother Jack's choice; and
then I'd gammon at home that it was all true.

"At last the place got too hot for me. I got sick of dodging that
girl. I sent a mate of mine to tell her that it was all a joke, and
that I was already married in secret; but she didn't see it, then I
cleared, and got a job in Newcastle, but had to leave there when my
mates sent me the office that she was coming. I wouldn't wonder but
what she is humping her swag after me now. In fact, I thought you was
her in disguise when I set eyes on you first....You needn't get mad
about it; I don't mean to say that you're quite as ugly as she was,
because I never saw a man that was--or a woman either. Anyway, I'll
never ask a woman to marry me again unless I'm ready to marry her."