the presence of many things which weighed heavy upon my spirits.
When I found myself too ill to read, and too desponding to endure
my own reflections, I discovered that it is really a miserable
thing to be destitute of the soothing and supporting hand when
nature most needs it. I wandered up and down from one man's room
to another, and from one College to another, imploring society, a
little conversation, and a little relief of the burden which
pressed upon my spirits; and I am sorry to say, that those who,
when I was cheerful and lively, sought my society with avidity,
now, when I actually needed conversation, were too busy to grant
it. Our College examination was then approaching, and I perceived
with anguish that I had read for the university scholarship until
I had barely time to get up our private subjects, and that as I
was now too ill to read, all hope of getting through the
examination with decent respectability was at an end. This was an
additional grief. I went to our tutor, with tears in my eyes, and
told him I must absent myself from the examination,--a step which
would have precluded me from a station amongst the prize-men until
the second year. He earnestly entreated me to run the risk. My
surgeon gave me strong stimulants and supporting medicines during
the examination week; and I passed, I believe, one of the most
respectable examinations amongst them. As soon as ever it was
over, I left Cambridge, by the advice of my surgeon and tutor,
and I feel myself now pretty strong. I have given up the thought
of sitting for the University scholarship, in consequence of my
illness, as the course of my reading was effectually broken. In
this place I have been much amused, and have been received with an
attention in the literary circles which I neither expected nor
deserved. But this does not affect me as it once would have done:
my views are widely altered; and I hope that I shall in time learn