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Cecilia; Or, Memoirs of an Heiress — Volume 3 by Fanny Burney
page 110 of 424 (25%)
would little answer to either of us. I am a native of the West Indies,
and I was early sent hither to be educated. While I was yet at the
University, I saw, I adored, and I pursued the fairest flower that ever
put forth its sweet buds, the softest heart that ever was broken by
ill-usage! She was poor and unprotected, the daughter of a villager;
she was untaught and unpretending, the child of simplicity! But fifteen
summers had she bloomed, and her heart was an easy conquest; yet, once
made mine, it resisted all allurement to infidelity. My fellow students
attacked her; she was assaulted by all the arts of seduction; flattery,
bribery, supplication, all were employed, yet all failed; she was
wholly my own; and with sincerity so attractive, I determined to marry
her in defiance of all worldly objections.

"The sudden death of my father called me hastily to Jamaica; I feared
leaving this treasure unguarded, yet in decency could neither marry nor
take her directly; I pledged my faith, therefore, to return to her, as
soon as I had settled my affairs, and I left to a bosom friend the
inspection of her conduct in my absence.

"To leave her was madness,--to trust in man was madness,--Oh hateful
race! how has the world been abhorrent to me since that time! I have
loathed the light of the sun, I have shrunk from the commerce of my
fellow creatures; the voice of man I have detested, his sight I have
abominated!--but oh, more than all should I be abominated myself!

"When I came to my fortune, intoxicated with sudden power, I forgot
this fair blossom, I revelled in licentiousness and vice, and left it
exposed and forlorn. Riot succeeded riot, till a fever, incurred by my
own intemperance, first gave me time to think. Then was she revenged,
for then first remorse was my portion: her image was brought back to my
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