"Drunk, sir--I wasn't drunk!"

"It looks very like it," said Murphy, who did not wait for an answer, but
bustled off to another party who was wringing out his inexpressibles at
the door of his bed-room, and swearing at the gossoon that he _must_
have his boots.

"I never seen them, sir," said the boy.

"I left them at my door," said the man.

"So did I leave mine," said Murphy, "and here I am barefooted--it is most
extraordinary."

"Has the house been robbed?" said the innocent elector.

"Not a one o' me knows, sir!" said the boy; "but how could it be robbed
and the doors all fast this mornin'?"

The landlady now appeared, and fired at the word "robbed!"

"Robbed, sir!" exclaimed Mrs. Kelly; "no, sir--no one was ever robbed in
my house--my house is respectable and responsible, sir--a vartuous house--
none o' your rantipole places, sir, I'd have you to know, but decent and
well behaved, and the house was as quiet as a lamb all night."

"Certainly, Mrs. Kelly," said Murphy--"not a more respectable house in
Ireland--I'll vouch for that."

"You're a gentleman, Misther Murphy," said Mrs. Kelly, who turned down the