Mr. Punch's famous story." He would then go through the bound volumes
of _Punch_--we had about a dozen in the room--with lightning speed
until he chanced upon a more or less appropriate tag.

Those were mornings when verses would be padded out from three stanzas
to five, Gresham turning them out under fifteen minutes. He had a
wonderful facility for verse.

As a last expedient one fell back upon a standing column, a moth-eaten
collection of alleged jests which had been set up years ago to meet the
worst emergencies. It was, however, considered a confession of weakness
and a degradation to use this column.

We had also in our drawer a book of American witticisms, published in
New York. To cut one out, preface it with "A good American story comes
to hand," and pin it on a slip was a pleasing variation of the usual
mode of constructing a paragraph. Gresham and I each had our favourite
method. Personally, I had always a partiality for dealing with
"buffers." "The brakes refused to act, and the train struck the buffers
at the end of the platform" invariably suggested that if elderly
gentlemen would abstain from loitering on railway platforms, they would
not get hurt in this way.

Gresham had a similar liking for "turns." "The performance at the
Frivoli Music Hall was in full swing when the scenery was noticed to be
on fire. The audience got a turn. An extra turn."

Julian Eversleigh, to whom I told my experiences on the _Orb_,
said he admired the spirit with which I entered into my duties. He
said, moreover, that I had a future before me, not only as a