little else than a state of diminished consciousness, the sense of
suffering underwent little remission. What added to the aggravation of
the case, was the profound conviction that no further effort of
resolution was possible, and that every counteracting influence of
this kind had been already wound up to its highest tension. I might
hold my own; to do anything more I thought impossible. Before the
month had come to an end, however, I had a good deal enlarged my
conceptions of the possible resources of the will when driven into a
tight corner.

The only person outside of my family to whom I had confided the
purpose in which I was engaged was a gentleman with whom I had some
slight business relations, and who I knew would honor any demands I
might make in the way of money. I had assured him that by New Year's
Day I should have taken opium for the last time, and that any
extravagance of expenditure would not probably last beyond that
date. Upon this assurance, but confessedly having little or no faith
in it, he asked me to dine with him on the auspicious occasion.

So uncomfortable had my condition and feelings become in the rapid
descent from eighty grains to twenty in less than a week, that I
determined for the future to diminish the quantity by only a single
grain daily, until the habit was finally mastered. In the twenty-nine
days which now remained to the first of January, the nine days more
than were needed, at the proposed rate of diminution, would, I
thought, be sufficient to meet any emergency which might arise from
occasional lapses of firmness in adhering to my self-imposed task, and
more especially for the difficulties of the final struggle--difficulties
I believe to be almost invariably incident to any strife which human
nature is called upon to make in overcoming not merely an obstinate habit