quite at ease, and thankful to my Father in heaven for excusing me.
But the next united supplication, I felt that I must unite with them
in kneeling, and while one tried to pull me up by the arm, with saying
"I'd be a little dunce if I was in thy place," the other sister
pinched the other arm, "Now, Laura Smith, be a little Methodist, will
thee? I'd be ashamed if I was thee; every body will make fun of thee."
But I kept my position and made no reply, but secretly prayed for
strength in my great weakness. But my fears were fully realized. It
was at once reported that Laura Smith would be a Methodist if allowed
by her parents. And for a long time no permission was given to attend
those little prayer-meetings, my parents assigning this reason: "This
Methodist excitement is unprofitable, especially for children. They
have an overheated zeal, that is not according to knowledge, and we do
not think it best for thee to attend; we want our children at a
suitable age to be actuated by settled principle, not mere
excitement." This reasoning by my dear father strongly tempted me to
give up my resolutions altogether. Until I was eighteen I felt no
liberty whatever in unburdening my troubled heart to my dear parents.
They were unacquainted with the longings of my poor soul. Like the
lone sparrow upon the house-top, I mourned many weeks, sought the
solitary place for reading my Bible, and prayer; often watered my
pillow with tears, and longed for the day, and during the day longed
for the night, in which I might pour out my sorrows to my Heavenly
Father out of sight of human eye. I was conscious that my sadness was
troubling my dear parents. Oh! how I prayed for light to dispel this
darkness and doubt--sometimes ready to conclude that, as it was my
duty to obey my parents, the Lord would excuse me in waiting until I
was of age. Yet in reading the many precious promises of the Lord
Jesus, "Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I
will give you rest;" "Seek, and ye shall find," I found fresh courage.