"I think I have."

"Do you now enjoy it?"

"I do not"

This relieved me from the dilemma of being a disgrace to the cause of
Christ, as a number of my gay companions were with me, also those
Christian young people to whom I had listened with interest in prayer
and exhortations. But searching remarks from him followed. Still
holding my hand, he said:

"You have known of earnest pleading for the pardon of sin; and you
have known what it was to rejoice, as your prayers were answered. You
have known your duty, and did it not, and have brought yourself into
darkness. Do not occupy this dangerous ground longer. Return to jour
first love. Do your first work over; and He who is abundant in mercy
will again accept you. May God grant his blessing upon you! Good bye."

And he left me bathed in tears.

These earnest words reopened the many wounds that many neglected
duties had made. I could not doubt but Elder Winchell was as truly
sent from God to deliver this message as was Caleb McComber, for whom
I prayed in my distress. But now the Holy Spirit had sought me out,
unasked for, to warn me of the danger in the effort to occupy neutral
ground, as I had concluded to do until I was of age. I saw more
clearly that I was responsible to my Savior, who had done great things
for me, whereof I did rejoice with exceeding great joy.