One Sam Jenkins had been on a spree for a week, and even he was roused
by the tremendous sound. As he rushed from his cabin, by the terrific
blaze from the high smoke-stack and the furnace burning pitch-pine,
he sank onto his shaking knees and yelled:

"Boys, I have got 'em for the third time! It is all up with me!"


* * * * *


THE WHISTLE THAT STOPPED THE BOAT.

Lincoln was pitted, as a lawyer, against a brother of the toga who was
of fat and plethoric habit, and who puffed and blowed when most he
wished to get on with his speech. The wag said:

"The gentleman reminds me of a little steamboat I knew about on the
Spoon River. She had been equipped with a whistle disproportionate to
her capacity of steam-power, and every time she blew off it stopped
the boat!"


* * * * *


IT IS THE DEED, NOT THE DOER.

By one of those unaccountable contradictions which disturb one's
calculations upon women's conduct, the fair sex "took to" him with