"'Rifle's all right--I know it is,' answered the boy; 'but where's
your squirrel?'

"'Don't you see him, humped up about half-way up the tree?' inquired
the old man, peering over his spectacles and getting mystified.

"'No, I don't,' responded the boy; and then turning and looking into
his father's face, he exclaimed: 'Yes, I spy your squirrel! You have
been firing at a flea on your own brow!'"

This modern version of seeing the mote and not the beam in one's own
eye smothered the member for Wabash in laughter, and he _dropped_
the standard objection of "unconstitutional" as he had not his mark.


* * * * *


THE CREAM OF THE JOKE.

By reason of the distances and the lonesomeness, it was the pleasant
habit of candidates to make their electioneering tours together. In
seeking reelection in 1838, Lincoln was accompanied by Mr. Ewing. They
stopped at one country house about dark, when the good wife was going
a-milking, while her husband was still a-field. Intent on securing
her, as she had the repute of being "the gray mare," the two partizans
accompanied her to the paddock. Ewing, to show his gallantry as
well as his familiarity with farm work--a main point in such
communities--offered to relieve the dame of the pail and fill it,