That's what I wannt to know!"

Campbell: "Well, now, I'm sure you can understand that. He was
naturally a good deal embarrassed at having to address a strange lady;
his mind was full of his wife's cook, and instead of asking her if
she'd _seen_ a cook, he bungled and he blundered, and asked her--I
suppose--if she _was_ a cook. Can't you see that? how it would
happen?"

McIlheny, with conviction: "Yessor, I can. And I'll feel it an hannor
if you gintlemen will join me in a glass of wine on the carner, across
the way--"

Campbell: "But your train?"

McIlheny: "Oh, domn the thrain! But I'll just stip aboord and tell
Mrs. McIlheny I've met a frind, an' I'll be out by the next thrain,
an' I'll be back wid you in a jiffy." He runs out, and Campbell turns
to Roberts.

Roberts: "Good heavens, Willis! what are we going to do? Surely, we
can't go out and drink with this man?"

Campbell: "I'm afraid we sha'n't have the pleasure. I'm afraid Mrs.
McIlheny is of a suspicious nature; and when Mr. Mac comes back, it'll
be to offer renewed hostility instead of renewed hospitality. I don't
see anything for us but flight, Roberts. Or, _you_ can't fly, you poor
old fellow! You've got to stay and look out for that cook. I'd be glad
to stay for you, but, you see, I should not know her."