wasn't the one. She was very angry, and she went out and got her
husband. He was tipsy, and he's been coming back ever since. I don't
know what to do about the wretched creature. He says I've insulted his
abominable wife!"

Campbell, laughing: "O Lord! Lord! This will be the death of me!"

Mrs. Campbell: "This is one of your tricks, Willis; one of your vile
practical jokes."

Campbell: "No, no, my dear! I couldn't invent anything equal to _this_.
Oh my! oh my!"

Mrs. Campbell, seizing him by the arm: "Well, if you don't tell,
instantly, what it is--"

Campbell: "But I _can't_ tell. I promised Roberts I wouldn't."

Roberts, wildly: "Oh, tell, tell!"

Campbell: "About the cook, too, Agnes?"

Mrs. Roberts: "Yes, yes; everything! Only tell!"

Campbell, struggling to recover himself: "Why, you see, Agnes engaged
a cook, up-town--"

Mrs. Roberts: "I didn't want you to know it, Amy. I thought you would
be troubled if you knew you were coming to visit me just when I was
trying to break in a new cook, and so I told Edward not to let Willis