little fiery-red tipsy Irishman of a husband, that wanted to fight
Roberts; and my having to lie out of it for him; and their going off
again, and the husband coming back four or five times between drinks,
and having to be smoothed up each time--"

Both Ladies: "No!"

Mrs. Roberts: "It was simply horrid."

Mrs. Campbell: "It wasn't funny at all; it was simply disgusting. Poor
Mr. Roberts!"

Campbell: "Well, by the holy poker! This knocks me out! The next time
I'll marry a man, and have somebody around that can appreciate a joke.
The Irishman said himself it would make a cow laugh."

Mrs. Campbell: "I congratulate you on being of the same taste, Willis.
And I dare say you tried to heighten the absurdity, and add to poor
Mr. Roberts's perplexity."

Roberts: "No, no! I assure you, Amy, if it hadn't been for Willis, I
shouldn't have known how to manage. I was quite at my wits' end."

Mrs. Campbell: "You are very generous, I'm sure, Mr. Roberts; and I
suppose I shall have to believe _you_."

Roberts: "But I couldn't act upon the suggestion to take the man out
and treat him; Willis was convinced himself, I think, that that
wouldn't do. But I confess I was tempted."