"No," I said. "But I feel faint. I feel sick. Can I go to sit in the
garden for a minute?"

"Yes," he answered. "Certainly. I'll get you a glass of cold water."

I was really too far gone to pay much heed to anything. I think I told
them that I should be quite well in a few minutes, if they would leave
me there; and I think that Mrs Evans told her husband to come indoors,
leaving me to myself. At any rate they went indoors, and then the cool
air, blowing on me from the sea, refreshed me, so that I stood up.

I could think of nothing except the words: "I am a murderer." A wild
wish came to me to run to the cliffs by Black Pool to see whether the
bodies lay on the grass in the place where I had seen them (full of
life) only a few hours before. Anything was better than that
uncertainty. In one moment a hope would surge up in me that the men
would not be dead; but perhaps only gagged and bound: so that I could
free them. In the next there would be a feeling of despair, that the
men lay there, dead through my fault, killed by Marah's orders, and
flung among the gorse for the crows and gulls. I got out of the
Rectory garden into the road; and in the road I felt strong enough to
run; and then a frenzy took hold of me, so that I ran like one
possessed. It is not very far to Black Pool; but I think I ran the
whole way. I didn't feel out of breath when I got there, though I had
gone at top speed; a spirit had been in me, such as one only feels at
rare times. Afterwards, when I saw a sea-fight, I saw that just such a
spirit filled the sailors, as they loaded and fired the guns.

I pushed my way along the cliffs through the gorse, till I came to the