the boots. I wish some kind person would suggest a remedy for this state
of things; for just now my greatest desire is to be dressed in
accordance with the fashion."

"Allow me to interrupt you for one moment, Smith," said the old
gentleman, who had been listening attentively to my words. "We
understood what you said so well on this occasion that it seems a pity
you should suddenly again render yourself unintelligible. Can you
explain to us what you mean by dressing in accordance with the fashion?"

"My meaning is, that I simply desire to dress like one of yourselves, to
see the last of these _uncouth_ garments." I could not help putting
a little vicious emphasis on that hateful word.

He inclined his head and said, "Yes?"

Thus encouraged, I dashed boldly into the middle of matter; for now,
having dined, albeit without wine, I was inflamed with an intense
craving to see myself arrayed in their rich, mysterious dress. "This
being so," I continued, "may I ask you if it is in your power to provide
me with the necessary garments, so that I may cease to be an object of
aversion and offense to every living thing and person, myself included?"

A long and uncomfortable silence ensued, which was perhaps not strange,
considering the nature of the request. That I had blundered once more
seemed likely enough, from the general suspense and the somewhat alarmed
expression of the old gentleman's countenance; nevertheless, my motives
had been good: I had expressed my wish in that way for the sake of peace
and quietness, and fearing that if I had asked to be directed to the
nearest clothing establishment, a new fit of amazement would have been