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The Real Dope by Ring Lardner
page 25 of 140 (17%)
they are wrong because I would rather live in the trenches then one of
these billets where they got us and between you and I Al its nothing more
then a barn. Just think of a man like I Al thats been use to nothing only
the best hotels in the big league and now they got me staying in a barn
like I was a horse or something and I use to think I was cold when they had
us sleeping with imaginery blankets out to Camp Grant but I would prespire
if I was there now after this and when we get through here they can send us
up to the north pole in our undershirt and we would half to keep moping the
sweat off of our forehead and set under a electric fan to keep from
sweltering.

Well they have got us pegged as horses all right not only because they give
us a barn to live in but also from the way they sent us here from where
we landed at in France and we made the trip in cattle cars and 1 of the
boys says they must of got us mixed up with the calvary or something. It
certainly was some experience to be rideing on one of these French trains
for a man that went back and fourth to the different towns in the big
league and back in a special Pullman and sometimes 2 of them so as we could
all have lower births. Well we didn't have no births on the French R. R.
and it wouldn't of done us no good to of had them because you wouldn't no
sooner dose off when the engine would let off a screem that sounded like a
woman that seen a snake and 1 of the boys says that on acct. of all the men
being in the army they had women doing the men's work and judgeing by the
noise they even had them whistleing for the crossings.

Well we finely got here any way and they signed us to our different billets
and they's 20 of us in this one not counting a couple of pigs and god knows
how many rats and a cow that mews all night. We haven't done nothing yet
only look around but Monday we go to work out to the training grounds and
they say we won't only half to march 12 miles through the mud and snow to
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