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The Real Dope by Ring Lardner
page 47 of 140 (33%)
_Somewheres in France, Feb. 18._

FRIEND AL: Well Al this may be the last letter you will ever get from me
because I am waiting now to find out what they are going to do with me and
I will explain what I mean.

Yesterday A. M. I seen Sargent Avery and I asked him if I could talk to him
a minute and he says yes and I said I wanted to find out from him who stole
that valentine from Miss Moselle. So he says "Who is Miss Moselle?" So I
said "Why that little lady in the canteen that's blowed to Paris." So he
says "Well that little lady's name isn't Miss Moselle but her name is Ruth
Palmer and she is the daughter of one of the richest birds in N. Y. city
and they wasn't nobody stole no valentine from her because she give the
valentine to me before she left." So I said "What do you mean she give it
to you?" So he says "I mean she give it to me and when she give it to me
she said us birds was in the same Co. with a poet and didn't know it and
she thought it was about time we was finding it out. So she laughed and
give me the valentine and that's the whole story."

Well Al I had a 20 frank note on me and I asked Sargent Avery if he
wouldn't like some champagne and he said no he wouldn't. But that didn't
stop me Al and I got all I could hold onto and then some and I snuck in
last night after lights out and I don't know if anybody was wise or not but
if they are its libel to go hard with me and Capt. Seeley said something
about the fireing squad for the next bird that cut loose.

Well I reported sick this A. M. and they could tell to look at me that
it wasn't no stall so I'm here and the rest of the boys is gone and I am
waiting for them to summons me before the court marshall. But listen Al if
they do like Capt. Seeley said you can bet that before they get me I will
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