all over their little lake, and demanded, "What makes you charge so
dreadfully?" "Why," said the innocent boatman, "because dese ese de lake
were de Saviour walked on de water." "Walked! walked! did He? Well, if
the boatmen of that day charged as you fellows do, I should think He
_would_ walk."


88. HORACE GREELEY'S JOKE

On one occasion a person, who wished to have a little fun at the expense of
his constituency, said in a group where Horace Greeley was standing: "Mr.
Greeley and I, gentlemen, are old friends. We have drunk a good deal of
brandy and water together." "Yes," said Mr. Greeley, "that is true enough.
You drank the brandy, and I drank the water."


89. DOCTORS AND DEADHEADS

Fifty years ago the principal avenue of Detroit had a toll-gate close
to the entrance of the Elmwood Cemetery road. As this cemetery had been
laid out some time previous to the construction of the plank road, it was
arranged that all funeral processions should be allowed to pass along the
latter toll-free. One day as a well-known physician stopped to pay his
toll, he observed to the gate-keeper:

"Considering the benevolent character of our profession, I think you ought
to let physicians pass free of charge."

"No, no, doctor," replied the man; "we can't afford that. You send too many
'deadheads' through here as it is."