The little girl looked up, and after a moment's hesitation, exclaimed:

"She said--well, she said, 'O dear!'"


29. THE TOAST OF THE EVENING

[The comment upon this incident by the editor is not less amusing than the
speech.]

It is not always a pleasant thing to be called upon suddenly to address a
public meeting of any sort, as is amusingly illustrated by the following
speech at the opening of a free hospital by one who was certainly not born
an orator:

"Gentlemen--ahem--I--I--I rise to say--that is, I wish to propose a toast,
which I think you'll all say--ahem--I think, at least, that this toast is,
as you'll say, the toast of the occasion. Gentlemen, I belong to a good
many of these things, and I say, gentlemen, that this hospital requires no
patronage--at least, what I mean is, you don't want any recommendation.
You've only got to be ill--got to be ill."

"Now, gentlemen, I find by the report" (turning over the leaves in a
fidgety way) "that from the year seventeen--no eighteen--no, ah, yes, I'm
right--eighteen hundred and fifty--no, it's a '3'--thirty-six--eighteen
hundred and thirty-six, no less than one hundred and ninety-three
millions--no! ah!" (to a committeeman at his side) "Eh? oh, yes, thank
you--yes--one hundred and ninety-three thousand--two millions--no" (after a
close scrutiny at the report) "two hundred and thirty-one--one hundred and
ninety-three thousand, two hundred and thirty-one! Gentlemen, I beg to