unfortunate, on the failure of all his hopes, had thrown himself
into the Thames from the neighbouring boat-stairs; and though he
had been hooked out uninjured by the man who always attends there
with two wooden legs, the effect on his parents' minds had been
distressing. Shortly after this occurrence the chief clerk had
been invited to attend the Board, and the Chairman of the
Commissioners, who, on the occasion, was of course prompted by
the Secretary, recommended Mr. Hardlines to be a _leetle_
more lenient. In doing so the quantity of butter which he poured
over Mr. Hardlines' head and shoulders with the view of
alleviating the misery which such a communication would be sure
to inflict, was very great. But, nevertheless, Mr. Hardlines came
out from the Board a crestfallen and unhappy man. 'The service,'
he said, 'would go to the dogs, and might do for anything he
cared, and he did not mind how soon. If the Board chose to make
the Weights and Measures a hospital for idiots, it might do so.
He had done what little lay in his power to make the office
respectable; and now, because mammas complained when their cubs
of sons were not allowed to come in there and rob the public and
destroy the office books, he was to be thwarted and reprimanded!
He had been,' he said, 'eight-and-twenty years in office, and was
still in his prime--but he should,' he thought, 'take advantage
of the advice of his medical friends, and retire. He would never
remain there to see the Weights and Measures become a hospital
for incurables!'

It was thus that Mr. Hardlines, the chief clerk, expressed
himself. He did not, however, send in a medical certificate, nor
apply for a pension; and the first apparent effect of the little
lecture which he had received from the Chairman, was the