intercourse, and, as I have heard Cato say, to be unstitched rather than
cut asunder, unless some quite intolerable offence flames out to full
view, so that it can be neither right nor honorable not to effect an
immediate separation and dissevering. But if there shall have been some
change either in character or in the habits of life, or if there have
sprung up some difference of opinion as to public affairs,--I am
speaking, as I have just said, of common friendships, not of those
between wise men,--care should be taken lest there be the appearance,
not only of friendship dropped, but of enmity taken up; for nothing is
more unbecoming than to wage war with a man with whom you have lived on
terms of intimacy. Scipio, as you know, had withdrawn from the
friendship of Quintus Pompeius [Footnote: Laelius intending to present
himself as a candidate for the consulship, Scipio asked Pompeius whether
he was going to be a candidate, and when he replied in the negative,
asked him to use his influence in behalf of Laelius. This Pompeius
promised, and then, instead of being true to his word, offered himself
for the consulship, and was elected.] on my account, he became alienated
from Metellus [Footnote: Scipio and Metellus, though their intimacy was
suspended for political reasons, held each other in the highest regard,
and no person in Rome expressed profounder sorrow than Metellus for
Scipio's death or was more warm in his praise as a man of unparalleled
ability, worth, and patriotism.] because of their different views as to
the administration of the State. In both cases he conducted himself with
gravity and dignity, and without any feeling of bitterness. The endeavor
then, must first be, to prevent discord from taking place among friends,
and if anything of the kind occurs, to see that the friendship may seem
to be extinguished rather than crushed out. Care must thus be taken lest
friendships lapse into violent enmities, whence are generated quarrels,
slanders, insults, which yet, if not utterly intolerable, are to be
endured and this honor tendered to old friendship that the blame may